The next new moon is in 2 days. Yes. I admit I’m one of “those” people. I sincerely believe the moon cycle affects people. If you look online you can find tons of articles that agree, and tons of articles that tell you there is no actual link. My belief is not based on scientific studies, just life experience. If you ask any ER nurse, law enforcement officer, or food server anywhere I bet they’d tell you the same thing. My friend and I try to “set our intentions” at each new moon. What that means is for the next 28+ days we focus on improving a specific aspect of ourselves or our lives. Some months that’s been to be more present at home, or to make time to exercise at least 3 times per week, or to be more attentive as a wife.
We started doing this a year or so ago. We were walking together and I was talking about how I felt like a failure at work, at home, as a wife and mother… you know, the weight of the world is heavier sometimes and it was feeling pretty overwhelming. She felt the same and we decided that instead of trying to fix everything at once we’d just work on one thing at a time.
It seemed like a good idea to have a time frame that we would work on this “one thing,” and it was a full moon, so we decided to focus on our good intentions until the next full moon. We later changed to the new moon, because that felt like more of a beginning, but setting our good intentions for a set time frame made them actually seem possible.
That’s the sparkly bit that found me this week. The impending new moon and a conversation about what our intentions are going to be this month got me to thinking about good intentions.
I know, “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” Right? Sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t, and sometimes they work just a little bit. Working to make yourself a better person and your life a little better, is never a wasted effort, so I thought we could talk about ways to help our good intentions be a success.
1. Don’t take on too much. The goal is for a small change. Small changes make big changes – so says my running coach, and I agree. Set a goal that is achievable in one month. Maybe that’s flossing regularly, or practicing patience with your kids. Pick one small change that you can work on for a month. If it works you can keep doing it, if it doesn’t you can change next month.
2. Be accountable. My friend and I talk about and share our intentions. We are each other’s support system and accountability measure. If you’re the only person who knows about your goals it’s easier to fold and revert back to old behaviors. The goal is to make a positive change for a month. Tell your friends, or your family, what your goals are and allow them to encourage you and to hold you accountable for your success – either for making the change or simply trying.
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3. Remember why you’re doing it. Over the next few weeks be sure to remind yourself why you’ve started this new habit. If it’s exercise your reward could be to be to drop a few pounds or just improve your health. On those days when it’s toughest to hold to our good intentions it’s important to remember the reward that’s waiting for us.
4. Enjoy the change. While you’re working on your good intention it’s important to enjoy what you’re doing. For me this was using my “yoga voice” with my children instead of raising my voice. I enjoyed seeing them roll their eyes at me when I asked them for the eight-thousandth time to put their shoes on the shoe rack, in the same voice as my yoga instructor when she tells me to “feel the strength of the earth” beneath me. Maybe that’s not the best form of enjoyment, I’ve never claimed to be mom-of-the-year, but I’m able to speak more calmly to my children and the entire house is benefitting from it.
5. One small slip isn’t the end of the world. Nobody’s perfect. Just because you gave in and didn’t get up one day to go to the gym, doesn’t mean you can’t give yourself credit for all the other days you did. You can look at why you slipped and fix it so you can succeed tomorrow. A small failure doesn’t mean that you haven’t made progress and you weren’t overall successful.
My intentions for this month? With my change in work schedule the focus for me is my home. I am going to focus on “getting my house in order” and on being a better mom. Clearing the clutter and getting ready for Fall/Winter, and having more patience with my young sons who know exactly… what… button… to push.
It’s a new moon and a new chance to make a positive change. That’s my challenge to you: pick something to focus on for the next month. Something that will make you a better person, make your life a little better, and by default, the lives of those around you a little better too.
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